When you say nothing at all
by Lord Cynic
Summary: Oneshot songfic, is a little angsty. A Colloyd in Lloyd's POV done in present tense. Late at night, when Colette wakes up and wanders off to the inn foyer by herself, Lloyd decides to follow her. As they share a night together, he muses to himself.


**Lord Cynic:** "It never ends! More and more ToSness! I could try Chrono Crusade now that I'm hooked on reading it. HOWEVER... that would not be wise since I know next to nothing intricate about it. Not the plot, not the nature of the characters, nadda. That translates to: never seen the anime, nor read the manga... wah. No worries, though."

(Feels like he's being really lazy. Megaman and Golden Sun wise) "Inspiration comes at a price... maybe I can get to them when I feel a surge of power flow through me. Oh well.

This is actually influenced by a really helpful review for my last ToS songfic. The person (you know who you are) mentioned my preference for seriousness and not fluffiness. I thought about it, and then I thought, I could do both, why not? It's not that hard, I read fluff all the time. However, this story does have its pensive side. You'll see what I mean. This is a Colloyd (yes, behold their power!), and is in Lloyd's POV. That means it's in present tense: now, at this moment, whatever the hell we're all doing in this frame of time. Yeah, you get it. And he may be OOCness in one respect - in this story, he knows extensive vocabulary (yeah, that'll be my fault - it's almost compulsive).

Now, without further ado, here we go!"

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**Lord Cynic:** "I don't own Tales of Symphonia, it belongs to Namco. When you say nothing at all belongs to Ronan Keating. Yes, it belongs to him. Say otherwise and I'll get a Rosette Christopher clone to hunt you down and run her car into you. She's quite good at it, for a clone." (_Eyes widen_)

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**When you say nothing at all**

Soft sounds of movement arouse me from my sleep. My eyes squint open as footsteps creep gentle and carefully across the wooden floor. The darkness of the room indicates that it's still late at night. However, through the limited light I catch a glimpse of long, golden-blonde hair. The person whom the hair belongs to suddenly sprouts glowing purple angel wings, further illuminating her in the dark. It's surprising that I'm the only one awake, but in a way, I'm grateful because I don't have to share this vision with anyone.

There is a rustling as I watch her rummage around in her bag, her wings now retracted. Then, I hear tentative footsteps leading towards the door. I sit up from my position on the floor to watch the area near the door. I can't see the person now, but already I have a sneaking suspicion as to who it might be. All I need to confirm my suspicion is -

THUD 

Bingo. I chuckle inaudibly as the person giggles embarrassedly and picks herself off the floor. Even through the lack of light, the cutest bright pink tinge spreads across her flustered cheeks as she brushes some of her luxurious blonde hair away from her eyes. Those same bright, beautiful, clear blue eyes hastily scan the room to check if anyone noticed her clumsiness. I smile gentle at the frantic expression in those enchanting eyes, but when they turn to my sleeping area, I feign sleep as swiftly as possible.

_Please let her fall for it._

_Please let me escape this time._

_Please let me become a good actor for once._

_Please may the Goddess Martel have mercy on me if the person were to see through me._

There is awkward silence (for me, anyway) as I make my attempt to look as convincing as possible. However, in my haste I suddenly release a humungous snore. I feel my face flush dark crimson, then a pillow making half-hearted contact with my head. I let out a grunt, which provokes an amused giggle from the person awake, which further provokes an increased shade of red on my face.

Silence again, and again I feel her eyes boring into me, trying to catch me out. I try to make as little movement as possible, although my heart is beating three times the normal rate. I know she wouldn't be irritated if I'd been watching her. She's not that type of person. However, I can't help being the type of person that wants to watch over everything she does. Since the entire trauma that she's gone through, I feel that I need to look after her and make sure she's okay. It's as if I want to be her guardian angel, but ironically, she's the one with the wings. Still, I want to be able to protect her with all I have, because, well...

_It's something deep within my heart._

_It's something I don't want anyone else to know._

_It's something that could be the cause of utter destruction._

_It's something that could tear apart a precious bond._

Suddenly, I hear footsteps, and I heave an inaudible sigh as I realise she's disappearing through the door. The footsteps fade, but I notice they're departing towards the inn foyer. Soon, there's no sound at all.

Silence yet again as I lie completely still. Well, except for Zelos' renewed bellowing snores. I don't know how I missed that before. Perhaps I was too preoccupied with my guardian angel duties. However, I put that out of my mind, rise to my feet and grab my bag from the floor next to me. I wait until I'm sure no one notices me, and then creep towards the (still open) door. There is a creak as I nudge it to allow my frame through comfortably, then my footsteps as I pass through it. A click of the doorknob as I close the door behind me, careful not to awaken anyone. Cautious footsteps as I follow my angel's trail towards the inn foyer.

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The inn foyer is relatively tranquil. The man at the counter has retired for the night, so there is no one in sight. However, I feel a presence that is hidden by the darkness. I know who it is, yet I have a willing suspension of disbelief, or simply a curiosity to be proven right or wrong.

I proceed to look around the room, but suddenly the fireplace ignites. A short, feminine figure is illuminated in the firelight. It's the same person, whom left our room. I know because her golden-blonde hair falls flawlessly down past her shoulders, almost past her back. I know because, even though they're covered, of those clear blue eyes that shine brightest when she's truly happy. I know because I want to be able to hold her, warm her, treasure her, burn, pine and perish for her. Most of all, deep down inside, I want that person to be mine.

_I want that person to be mine._

_I want that person to be no one else's but my own._

_I want that person's heart to go to no one but myself._

_I want that person's love to be for no one but me._

Suddenly, those bright, beautiful blue eyes detect me in the near darkness, on the staircase leading to the foyer. They penetrate the dim light to stare bemusedly at me. I blush at being caught, and she giggles at my reaction. Without words, she beckons me to her with one finger. I obey subconsciously, my legs leading me to her as if they were disembodied from my nervous system. She smiles, her eyes shining again, and I almost go weak at the knees. I don't know what comes over me, but every time she looks at me like that, I feel like I'm turning into the Professor's cooking - weak and crumbling.

The person sits by the fire, her legs stretched, as I reach her. Quickly, I follow her lead, sitting myself down and assuming a relaxing position. She smiles again, and inside my stomach, I feel one thousand bees fluttering. For a moment, I feel light, as if those bees are lifting me into the air. In reality, being next to this angel makes me feel like I can leave solid ground and fly into unchartered worlds. However, that could never be - I'd never want to be away from her, no matter what.

_No matter what, we'll always be together._

_No matter what, nothing will separate us._

_No matter what, I'll never let her go._

_No matter what, I will keep that promise._

Silence, bar the crackling of the fire. Yet, even that is deafened by the harmony we feel with one another. Minutes pass idly, but still not a word is uttered between us. We glance at each other occasionally, but look away embarrassedly as our cheeks flush. However, our content smiles cease to waver as the flames lick in the fireplace harmlessly.

Still, there's a bigger flame, and it burns in my heart. It's a burning desire for something special. Something close to me... yet always seems out of my grasp. Part of me doesn't mind, that's the part of me that never asks for anything. The other part of me, the selfish part, wants her. There's nothing more to it, just those two words. However, the unselfish, unwanting side of me usually wins out because that's how it's always been.

I could never ask her for anything more than the bond we share. It wouldn't be right, especially since she's always been selfless. She, who gives and gives and never asks for anything in return. She, who tried to sacrifice herself for the good of our world. She, who cared too much for me to get involved. But what about me? I, the one who thought she was the only one who could regenerate our world. I, the one who once went back on my promise and thought about the world instead of her. I, who never realised what it was really like for her to become an angel. With these thoughts in tow, do I really deserve anything more than what I have? Do I even deserve what I've got right now?

_Do I deserve her care?_

_Do I deserve her trust?_

_Do I deserve her concern?_

_Do I deserve the look of utter content she wears when she looks at me?_

She looks at me strangely, and I realise I've been staring at her absent-mindedly for some time. I blush profusely, which once again provokes an amused giggle. I stare at the floor, embarrassed, but also slightly ashamed. What was I thinking? Would this be what she wants? I don't really know, but sometimes, when she looks at me, it's as if she's missing something. As if something inside her is incomplete. As if... she's hiding something... But why? Why should she hide anything? Is something wrong?

Once again she looks at me strangely, and once again I realise I've been spacing out. I blush again, but she doesn't giggle. Instead, she sighs and leans her head on my shoulder. For some reason, my cheeks grow warmer. It's strange, because we've done this so many times. Yet, now, in front of the fireplace, I feel hotter than the flames themselves. It's as if my whole body temperature just rose 50 degrees.

I laugh mentally. Heh, the Professor would be surprised if she knew I'd just thought that. Even more so than she was when I talked about the old geezer at Hakonesia Peak being avaricious.

A soft sigh brings my attention back to the present, and my eyes tilt down to find that my angel's fallen asleep. I smile, and then wrap my arms around her slender waist. As she leans further into me, the words "ironing board" pop into my head. Hah, as if. Sure, she's petite, but she's not flat. Not the way she feels now.

A dark hue spreads across my cheeks. I hope I wasn't mentally implying what I fear I was. No, of course not. I'm not like Zelos, no way. I see the way he looks at Sheena. Sure, he may seem chauvinistic towards her, but deep down it seems as if he really cares. Of course, he hides it well. He has to; it's the way he is. A little like me in a way. I hide my feelings well. I have to; I don't want our bond to be destroyed.

_I don't want her to think of me as a sleaze ball._

_I don't want to make things awkward between us._

_I don't want to meet her eyes if I were to tell her I wanted our friendship to go further._

_I don't want to see her face when she rejects me._

I couldn't bear the pain. For now, I'm content with things the way they are. It's like a song we knew, way back when. It was a song precious to us. When she lost her voice, it was a song that we shared with emotions anew. I used to hum it to her when she was stressed, angry or scared. It soothed her, it soothed us. It was a song that would indirectly tell each other our feelings. It was, like so many others, our song.

What was that song? Oh, yes, of course.

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_It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart_

_Without saying a word you can light up the dark_

_Try as I may I can never explain_

_What I hear when you don't say a thing_

**The smile on your face lets me know that you need me**

**There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me**

**The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall**

**You say it best when you say nothing at all**

_All day long, I can hear people talking out loud_

_But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd_

_Try as they may they can never defy_

_What's been said between your heart and mine_

**The smile on your face lets me know that you need me**

**There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me**

**The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall**

**You say it best when you say nothing at all**

**The smile on your face lets me know that you need me**

**There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me**

**The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall**

**You say it best when you say nothing at all**

_You say it best when you say nothing at all_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all_

_That smile on your face_

_The truth in your eyes_

_The touch of your hand_

_Lets me know that you need me_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all_

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As the fire crackles in the fireplace, I feel that I don't need to tell her how I feel. I know that she realises I love her. She knows that I love her, my sweet Colette, and hopefully she loves me too. If we should ever find the courage to tell each other face-to-face, I know I'm doing the right thing, from my heart. Unlike the fire in the fireplace, which will be extinguished in the morning, our flame will never burn out.

_Our flame will never be washed out by fear or trauma._

_Our flame will never go out from anxiety or doubt._

_Our flame will never be worn out from separation or isolation._

_Our flame will never cease to burn brightly because it's an invincible flame of love._

**THE END**

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**Lord Cynic:** "Gah... I'm listening to the Chobits theme as I finish off, so I'm feeling light-hearted. I hope this is good enough for Colloyd supporters. I may have stuffed up the mood in places... I apologise. I just hope the story's readable.

I actually base some of this off an anime called Kare Kano (translated as "His and Her Circumstances"). If you've seen that, and if you grasp the psychology that I'm trying to achieve here, you've done well. But, like I said, I probably stuffed it up. (oO)

Okay, farewell."


End file.
